Salam,
I had awoken from a bad dream this morning. It was about 4:30 am. I had the same feeling I do every time I dream about death. I cringe at the sense of a knotted stomach and heavy throat. The only remedy, at least this time, was Fajr prayer.

Every so often, I fear death- not death itself, but what comes after. I fear the death of my loved ones- not their death really, but the subject of our fate under His divine decree.

It wouldn't be so awful if I felt prepared to die; if I assumed that my parents or my brother or my sister were ready to face their Lord, genuflect before His greatness with only good news awaiting them.

My dear son...
Live as long as you may, for verily you must die. Love whoever you wish, for one day you shall taste its separation. And do what you will, you will be rewarded accordingly. -Imam Ghazali

At least I am not. Not ready that is; and that speaks volumes about my faith- so easily enervated by shaytan's deception. Astaghfirullah.

I didn't think it would be this hard to parry his seductive tricks. One would think that with school, studying, and other worldly things not there to distract you so much, that he would rest amidst my textbooks and dorm storage, waiting to pounce on me in September. of course he's here. Yet so is He and His mercy.


bal tasirunal hayatad dunya, wal akhiratu hairu wa abqah.
No, you prefer the life of this world, but the hereafter is better and everlasting. Surah Alaa, I believe.

On another note, I cannot wait for Ramadan! I need an iman-rush, asap.
until then, keep it halal.